CoVidiot

There is no way I came up with the term CoVidiot, but happy to claim it if no one else does.

Certainly, there are a plethora of examples of this these days.

"Give me a haircut or give me death!"  Or, more accurately, possibly both.

"My administration had done the most amazing, beautiful job in the history of presidential administrations.  Just ask anybody who wants to keep their job or needs federal assistance.  They will say great things about me."

But the personal example for the Smith family is the CoVidiot who has now come to our door TWICE, rang the bell, knocked, and then waited.  Finally, I go up to the door, peer through the peephole and ascertain that yes, CoVidiot is still there.

Me: "What?"  At exactly the tone you think.

CoVidiot: "Yes, I am in the neighborhood and have just signed up 14 of your neighbors for our pest control services.  I was wondering..."

Me: "No.  Just no.  Go away."

Three days later.  Knock, ring, and hover.

Me: "What?"  Now with 83% more dripping sarcasm and not thinly veiled hostility.

CoVidiot: "Yes, sir.  I was in the neighborhood and wanted to let you know about our pest control special."

Me: "Can you eliminate pests who knock on our door during a pandemic multiple times and try to sell us random services?  It's fine if you are one of those catch-and-release kinda services, but I'm not opposed to DDT."

Co Vidiot: "We are providing services to 14 of your neighbors."

Me: "Name them."

CoVidiot: "Sir?"

Me: "Name all 14 neighbors you have been able to sign up."

CoVidiot: "Um, is there someone else there I could talk to?"

Me: "No.  Go away before I spray you with the small amount of Lysol we still have."

My Abby came across the CoVidiot while out running with her sister.  Yes, that is how bored the Smith twins are.  They are jogging together.

Abby saw the guy and posed this question to him:
"What are you doing?"  I can only assume it had as much incredulous, are-you-a-f-ing-moron" tone as one would hope.
CoVidiot: "I'm selling pest control services."

Watching the news and seeing the idiot politicians and fake protests for "liberty", I keep thinking of the movie Idiocracy that my aunt Randy worked on several years ago.  It was about a future society who had grown so stupid they were watering their plants with Gatorade.  If the people who are carrying AK-47's to state capitals to open up the tattoo parlors are the ones who somehow survive the pandemic, we are all screwed.

Idiocracy was one of the few movie sets I got to visit when my Aunt Randy and Uncle John were working on movies, especially ones filmed in Austin.  It was being filmed at the shuttered Seaholm Power Plant.  It was way cool to see the magic of movie making.  At least for the ten minutes we were there.  We actually got bounced because of Grandpa Sid.

"What is that?  What did they say? Why are they doing that?"  As you can perhaps imagine, the director was less than thrilled about the loud nonagenarian as he is trying to film.

But grandpa was well into his 90's, it was a little confusing, and it actually wasn't the only place he got us booted from.  My favorite has to be when he almost got us ejected from Yom Kippur services at Temple Beth Israel.

"Boy we are sure getting the full dose of atonement tonight."
Me: "Grandpa, Shh."
"I said, we sure are getting the full dose of atonement tonight."  Much louder.

Miss you, Grandpa.