Therapist Seeking Behavior

I am on a quest to find a therapist.  I haven't gone to therapy before.  It always sounded like a good idea, and I know lots of people who have been benefited from it.  I don't have any real reason I haven't gone before.  My best explanation is that I express my feelings through sarcastic blog posts.  Yeah, I know, not actually useful, except when blogspot responds "and how does that make you feel?"

But now that I am heading into my one-year anniversary of the diagnosis (is there a different set of anniversary gifts for illness than for marriages?  If not, I guess May 2nd is the "paper" anniversary for my tumor.  Prescriptions, explanations of benefits, and test result print-outs would all be good presents, if you were looking).  But I digress.  With the life-changing/threatening diagnosis and treatment, seems like a good time to try therapy.

I used to run a mental health agency, so I know people who know people.  I had some of them give me some recommendations.  The inter-web gives me an idea of who might take my insurance.  So, I chose a nice psychologist from amongst the recommendations and set up an appointment.  I liked him, but turns out he is both location- and insurance-undesirable.  Turns out that even though I thought I could head south of the river for therapy, I can't.  It was a fine session, but the idea of getting on MoPac every Thursday at 5 and sitting in traffic for an extra 90 minutes is a deal breaker for me.  I's not that I don't like South Austin.  I don't.  Sorry, but I really don't.  Been a north Austin boy my whole life.

It also turns out that every therapist lists my insurance as one they take, with the caveat of "out of network".  What this actually means is that they don't take my insurance. 

So I set up an appointment with an LCSW (one of my people), who was a little-more geographically desirable.  Called my insurance company, who explained they would pay absolutely nothing for it.  Hey, I testified to the Texas legislature a few years back in favor of mental health parity rules that make sure mental health is covered the same as physical health.  It passed.  But it isn't.  They also let me know they actually farmed out mental health coverage to some place called Magellan.  I called, and waited the requisite two hours on the phone (hey, he was out of the office looking for the fountain of youth, or the City of Gold, or something).  But when I finally got to talk to the famous explorer, it turns out that yes, they only pay for in-network therapists.  And while there are (and this is not an exaggeration) just over 6,000 therapists in central Texas, there are exactly 39 who take Magellan.  Take out the geographically undesirable, and the list drops to about 20.  Oh, and one fun thing I found - since I ran the Austin Child Guidance Center for almost eight years, at some point I actually employed a significant percentage of the therapists I was finding.  This knocked out another 8 or 9 from my short-list.  But admittedly, these were more focused on children.  And while play therapy doesn't sound like a terrible idea right about now, probably not what I actually need. 

So, I  now had an ultra-short list.  I started reaching out.  Three of them never got back to me.  Two said they weren't taking new patients.  One sounded like she was in the midst of some type of mental health crisis of her own.

Which narrowed me down to my final list.  With exactly zero therapists on it.  Finding a therapist is going to be the first thing I talk about in therapy, assuming I could find a therapist.

I don't have an unreasonable set of criteria.  Someone who: takes my insurance; has an office north (or at least not south); doesn't sound suicidal; hasn't worked for me (or didn't go to high school with me - this was actually another problem I found); and utilizes at least some of the therapies I have heard of (CBT, DBT, humanistic, systems, gestalt - yes, I know what it is and even took a class in it) and doesn't focus too much on interpretive dance, journaling, and the like).  How hard can that be?

Recommendations welcome.  Though, admittedly, I feel a little bit better just writing all of this down.

Bureaucratic Windfall

Ever run into a situation where you were supposed to do something to make something else happen, but were never aware of what you were supposed to do or how to do it?  Until it was too late, and your unknown oversight caused a full breakdown in, well, apparently the entire space-time continuum.  And, if you have had that happen to you, has it ever made you very happy?

I'll explain.

During my 12 days of healthcare, my PA gave to me: "One reminder that after age 50 I should get a colonoscopy. Six suggested places.  And two gentle reminders of the importance of doing this.  What she didn't give to me was a referral authorization, an authorization ID, a date range for which the authorization is valid, and the number of visits approved.

This I learned from the gastroenterologist's office this afternoon, as my appointment is tomorrow morning.  Damn it, I had to cancel the appointment. 

"We can hold the appointment and you can try to get the doctor's office to get you the authorization this afternoon."
"No, I only have a rotary phone, so it could take me some time to dial.  I'll just cancel."
"Do you want to find a date to re-schedule?"
"Absolutely.  I will find some date in which I will attempt to re-schedule.  If I'm being honest, I'm guessing it will be after my next physical.  When my PA again gently reminds me I need to get this done.  But certainly, I will find a date to re-schedule, and then I will try to remember all the things I need to get from my PA- referrals, letters of support, and whatnot."

Some of you may give me grief and reiterate what I know is true - this is something I need to do.  And I was being very compliant and on track, until insurance red-tape derailed me.  Dang. [multiple happy face emojis].

Snow Sparkles

Once in every 8-9 years, the "slight chance of flurries" manifests in Austin.  last night we got enough to add Snow Sparkles to the unicorn family.

Then Right on Grackle

Had my best Siri experience yesterday. I have it set to a female Aussie voice. Headed to dinner with my brother at a popular restaurant in east Austin, and Siri was giving me directions. She told me to take a right on Lancaster, then stay straight onto Chicken Street. Lived here a very long time. Almost certain there is NOT a Chicken Street. [Certainly, lots of chickens.] Then she said it again. I stayed straight, and found myself on Chicón. Might need to switch Siri to Latinx.

A follow-up. I told this observation at dinner, and Stacy said he once switched his Siri voice to C3PO. Which sounds like an amazing idea! He thought so as well, until he realized C3PO kept calling him "Master Stacy". Oh. Not an amazing idea, For lots of reasons. But I still love the concept, so I changed Siri to R2D2. I don't expect to ever be able to find anyplace ever again. Jill will inevitably not get this joke, saying "I don't watch Star Trek."