Consequences Without Actions

This weekend the other shoe dropped.  Actually, the first one did, and then the second one.  All of my footwear fell.

The world-is-spinning feeling persisted, and invited some of its side-effect friends.  Specifically the “one second delay” where I have felt out just a bit of sync for three days.  And then the “nitrous”, in which every 90 minutes or so it feels like I am prepping for oral surgery and have inhaled just a smidge too much laughing gas.   That fast pounding feeling in my head, derived from either the dentist or (so my friends told me) things they called “poppers” that they got from the Whip In in college.

These feel much more seizure-y then anything else I have been experiencing. Reached out to brave Dr. Valliant, who said this can be expected close to the end of treatment.  So he added a steroid to my pharmacological buffet.  Said it may keep me awake and/or make me want to eat.  Combatting fatigue and the chemo diet?  Love you, Dr. V, but maybe I coulda added this one earlier?  Looking forward to getting buff.

So now I am getting nitrous side effects without a tooth removal.  Fantastic.  If I have to get drug and alcohol side effects without actual usage, why can’t it be like something like ecstasy?  I can neither confirm nor deny any actual first-hand knowledge, but from what I understand, it can give you a feeling of euphoria and an overwhelming feeling of love for all.  Thus the name. And can allegedly lead to near religious experiences in the produce department of HEB #4 circa 1988, amongst the amazing variety and colors of produce.  So I have been told.

About a week and a half left. I can say, without reservation, this whole thing sucks.  Zero star Yelp review for “brain tumor.”