Thought I was Breaking Better

I may not be a facial hair kinda guy.  Enjoyed the goatee for a bit, but I think at least 58% of that was that it covered the birthmark under my chin.  I went a full month without someone asking me "what happened to your chin?"  Think of that annoying question everyone asks you all the damn time, then imagine a period of time without someone asking you that question.  It's nice, right?

But eventually, that ended up not being enough.  Over the weekend, I decided I would divest of the facial hair in stages.  First the goatee, leaving just the stache.  I've never sported a mustache, and it is Movember.  Which I think has something to do with mustaches. And November.

I was mainly worried that I would end up with a porn stache.  Now I wish it looked like that. 

I showed Jill, and her immediate response was, "that's a Hitler mustache."  Nice.

We went to brunch with her sister, mom and stepdad.  When her mom saw me, her first reaction?  "You look like Mussolini."

Well, crap.  It is definitely not a porn stache.  It's a World War II fascist stache.  A Fache?  Fascache?

I asked, "Anyone know what Francisco Franco looked like? Or the leader of Yugoslavia?"

Gordon at least had a guess for who that was.  "Tito?"  And told me he could look at their vodka bottle when he got home to see if I looked like that.

Several relevant points here.  All of us were a bit light on our World War II facts.  I think there was a Tito in Yugoslavia at some point, and I do think they were in the Axis for a hot minute, but the inter-web tells me they renounced the Germans right away and then got invaded.

Second, and to me more important, I am absolutely certain that Tito, from Tito's Handmade Vodka, was NOT named for a strongman leader of Yugoslavia.  If he was a strongman.  I've actually met Tito (the Vodka guy), and he looks like a guy who makes vodka.

But then, in my internet research, I found Hideki Tojo, leader of Japan during WWII.  And damn if my fascache didn't resemble his a bit too.

So right after brunch, the mustache went onto the scrap heap of history.  Now I think I look a little like a skinhead.

Which is not great, but better than Hitler.  

I'm taking bets on how long it will take for someone to ask about the red mark on my chin.  I'm guessing it'll be less than 24 hours (and I realize I am just asking for it from all of you, but fine.).  I'm working on better stories.  

So far, all I have is:

"What happened to your chin?"

"Brain cancer."

A little harsh and random.  I'll work on it.