Free Socks!

For my two visits to the hospital, I ended up with two pairs of warm socks that have little anti-slidey things on the bottom.  Free socks, like all those free robes I've gathered from hotels over the years!  Jill is collecting the bills, so it's possible Seton charged me for the socks, or that my insurance company paid for them.  Or that I've already reached my out-of-pocket max for the year, and that not only the socks, but every other medical thing I do this year is free!  Though that's probably not how things work.

I got my latest MRI today (also possibly free!).  The Radiation Oncologist and, by extension, his Extender, sent me to a place with the highest tech 3-Tesla imager.  It's like the 2-Tesla imager, but with one full extra Tesla.  I changed out of my clothes to the provided tie-up clothes, and then noticed the basket of individually wrapped free, warm, non-slidey socks.  In blue!  My others are in white.  Certainly I knew I could not keep the tie-up clothes (nor did I care to), but my sock collection was about to grow to three.

The technician brought me into the 3-Tesla Imager room and placed me in the photon torpedo tube.  She gave me about half of the instructions, and then handed me earplugs and helped me put them in.  She then gave me the rest of the instructions.  Those earplugs were amazing.  I heard nothing else she said.  She put this push button thingy in my hand and then said words about what it was for.  I deduced that I was either supposed to push it every time something specific happened, or that it was my safe word, like "pineapple," in case things got too intense.  Since I didn't hear the words, it seemed best to go with the pineapple explanation.

She pushed me into the torpedo tube and left the room.  She then got on a loud speaker (future tip - maybe do the second part of the instructions over the loud speaker, or perhaps before the ear plugs.  Again, I'm not a doctor, tech, or even an Extender).  She told me that they had built mirrors so that if I looked straight up I could see a beach scene and focus on that for the time of the scan (which was in the second half of the instructions and therefore unknowable).

I thought to myself "Wow, they put mirrors in exactly the right place and angle so that I could focus on a picture that was behind me on the wall."

Then I added "Yes, you are in a 3-Tesla imaging machine that will provide a comprehensive 3D map of your brain, and you are amazed by two fucking mirrors and a picture from a magazine?  Idiot."  Harsh, but fair.

I don't mind enclosed spaces, and I can lie still for long periods.  Especially if I'm on the beach in Traveler's Quarterly!  My main thing is that my nose itches.  And what helps make sure it continues to itch?  Trying to ignore my nose itching.  In my 20's, I had a college friend with cancer that needed regular platelet infusions.  A couple of times a month I would go donate.  They take platelets by taking the blood out of one arm, sending it through the platelet extraction machine (likely back then not more than 0.5 Teslas), and putting the platelet-less blood back into the other arm.  This necessitated both arms being immobilized, and the process took 3-4 hours.  Hey, the platelets didn't go willingly.  That's a full 3-4 hours of nose itching.  I am sure the technicians grew to hate me, as every 5 to 7 minutes I would call out for nose scratching.  And since I was wearing headphones and listening to loud music, it likely was at that way-too-loud volume of people wearing headphones and listening to loud music.

We got through the 17 minutes (I counted to 1,020), and she pulled me out of the tube.

I changed back into my work clothes and took off my new, warm, non-slidey socks. There was a bin for the tie-up clothes. And there, next to that, was a bin for socks. No! Mine. On the side of the bin was this sign: "Place socks here. We wash them and donate them to the Salvation Army."  What is the better use here - clean, warm, non-slidey socks for the homeless or adding to my new collection? It was a close call, but I’m still at two. And actually not looking to add to the collection, as that generally means hospital visits and tube time.